Maddie Zahm

If It's Not God

Be pretty and don’t make it look like you’re trying
Told to be Esther, when I felt like a Lizeth
When they were wrong I could never keep quiet
I searched for the truth and had faith that I’d find it

Set myself on fire
Let myself be the liar

All the Sundays I worried I’d disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood some types of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What father picks a few just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed
So if it wasn’t God, well thank God, it was me
Thank God it was me

They called me a sinner when I was a saint
Hiding in her bedroom print depression away
Killing herself for return old life
And losing her interest to be a good wife

Set myself on fire
I let them call me the liar

All the Sundays I worried I’d disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What father picks a few just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed
So if that wasn’t God, if that wasn’t God it was me
Thank God it was me

Me, thank God it was me
If it was God then I don’t have to worry
When know I left my arraign in a hurry
So either way I choose I'm not wasting my life
Cause the voice in my head’s always been right

All the Sundays I worried I’d disappoint my mom
Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
No father picks a few just to leave the rest